Hello. This is Pickles.

We adopted Pickles about a month and a half ago. She's a 3ish year-old beagle who escaped from a backyard breeder in southwest Missouri (wheeeeeee, Missouri pride, number one in meth production AND puppy mills!). In the past six weeks or so, Sean and I have become her obedient and leal servants. Six different types of treats? Check. A bunch of toys in which she shows no interest but I keep buying anyway? Check. Permission to sleep in our bed? Check. But Pickles doesn't care about any of that. Her one and only love on this earth is garbage.

Delicious, delicious garbage.

We'd had her for three days the first time she went spelunking in the trash, and of course, I freaked out because she had eaten some aluminum foil (she was fine). The next time, she had scored the packaging of some of Sean's kipper snacks (bleargh) and while she didn't eat it, she did clean it thoroughly.

The third time, I think she went in there just to see if there was anything good. There wasn't. Beer cans, cigarette butts, and coffee grounds. THAT WAS FUN TO CLEAN UP!

Now, this last time, the dog finally hit the jackpot. No more chincey meatjuice to lick--she found real life expired cupcakes. A friend had brought them over for a party, oh, two weeks ago, and we'd finally thrown them out. While we're usually pretty good about putting the trash up, Sean...YES, IT WAS HIS RESPONSIBILITY, HE WAS LAST OUT THE DOOR...Sean forgot last night. And Pickles had the world to gain.

So yes. Yesterday, Pickles ate six to eight mini red velvet cupcakes, wrappers included. Oh, and she ate the crumbs out of a discarded bag of Triscuits.

I know, I know, get a better trash can, cheapass! I'm sorry, I just can't justify spending $60 on a brushed stainless steel automatic blah blah thing that's just going to hold our refuse! I can't do it! So it's either stick our trash on the counter, or forget, and let Pickles do her thing. Hopefully, we'll at least get some amusement out of her exploits.